Sheep stuck in snow

This is probably the most funniest thing I have read this year so far. The image in my head is making me actually wet myself with laughter. HAHAHA!!! although it is sad that sheep are dying and lamps are being stuck to ice when born but LOL. Sheep. In snow. Hilarious imagery. I did a crap sketch to show you how it looks in my head. This is one of those subjects that is really mean but the thought of it being being mean makes you want to laugh more. I call this the inappropriate laughter syndrome. It only occur unless it is a really inappropriate subject. HA! HA! HA!!! I love my drawing of the sheep at the bottom with chattering teeth hahaha and their wool peeping through. HAHA! sheep. Stop it brain just stop it. HA

I'm becoming an author.

      I may be the last person you would expect to do this but I have the skills (sort of) required to do this. I have decided to write my own book. And to keep it easier a children's book. The idea came to me while I was sat on the DLR. A women with striking features was sat in front of me and I came up with an idea and that idea was my title. DONE! 
I then began to develop the character in front of me, analysing her details and features and thinking about what her personality could be. I have only just started to write notes on the storyline. I haven't decided on if it will rhythm or be long or short. All I know right now is it will be entertaining and I will do my own illustrations. In either watercolour OR sketchy looking illustrations. 
    Once I have a first draft I will send it to family members and friends to help me and give me their opinions and tips on grammar and spelling (because I am not what they call proper when it comes to writing.) LOL Then after I am satisfied with the copy and illustrations i will genuinely consider handing it to a publication. 
Challenge excepted!!!!!!!! 
    Now the subject itself is something I am going to keep to my self for now. Its a peice of art in progress so I need to be the only one thinking of it. But when I get more in to it I will indeed blog it. As a promotion ofcourse.

My nice shiny new camera

Along with my nice new job I bought a nice big SLR camera to celebrate. Although I had saved up my Christmas and birthday money, I needed about £17 to top up my fund to purchase the camera, and when I got a job I could do it. I bought a Canon 600d and it...is...SEXY!! 
My first week of work I was knackered every time I entered the door so I could't gather the energy to play with my camera. But last weekend I did. It was snowy and rainy so I was limited to inside photography...and in particular my cat. I must say I took some pretty cute and awesome photos(which will be posted on my Pinterest/Tumblr). Although I think any idiot can take a photo. BUT it takes an artist to take a original and fresh photo. I absolutely love my camera though. I also ordered a case for it to protect it because atm it's still in the box it came from all the way from Hong Kong. I am going to use it to develop my photography skills, improve directing skills (because it has HD video) and do something as a hobbie...maybe even start a little photographer company if I'm any good in a year or so. Yes this whole blog is about how much I love my camera and how amazing it is. HA I know, I know....crazy women. Keep Buzzing!!

Last day of FREEDOM!!!

It's here, it's finally here. My last day before I start a full time job for the first time EVER! Now of course I have worked before, I did a paper round when I was at high school and I did part time cleaning work while I was studying at University and of course I have done freelance work and placements as a creative team after moving down to London. But this is the big one. The one where I can make my mark, earn some hard earned cash and...make some nice new friends. YAY!! just YAY!!!!! 
     My day plan is simple, it involves organising myself for tomorrow (read over contract/prepare tomorrows outfits, plan getting ready and travel plan) and tiring myself out so the excitement doesn't over power me when all I want to do is get a good nights rest. 
     
I am so excited about my first day, I wonder what I will be doing. I might have my own desk, a phone and definitely a swirlverly chair. Along with a nice email address with my name in it YEH BOI! and of course I will get to stroll through Mayfair every day checking out the 5 story Victorian town houses and posh cars that zoom by with potential celebs inside. Ohh I wonder where my job will take me in regards to celebrity spotting and sexy cars (which I may take photos of and make another blog called "What I saw on my way to work" blog - catchy aye??) 

     It's a very exciting day and I will celebrate this day with a nice meal in and an awesome film to watch....umm maybe even Braveheart. K! They may take our lives, but they will never take our.....well you know the rest.

5478 Tonnes of stress

This week has been one awesome week. I got offered a job on Monday. Simon got an interview. Simon went to the interview on Wednesday. Got offered the job on the same day. Took the offer. I accepted my offer on Thursday. Went shopping the same day for nice new clothes (first time in a long long time) Had a meal out (to nandos) Nice meal at night in the same day. Got offered another job offer on the Friday. Signed a contract to my first job offer (obv decided which job). So all in all a most fabulous week! Full of financial reassurance, job offers and shopping. A massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders. The world seems a happier place.YAY

One day...

Stretching and yawning I sat up in my bed one morning. I woke up and peered out the window to find outside my flat a blizzard had gathered. Snow was flying in every direction. Hitting my window with gale force winds and constant snow fall. People were struggling to walk and were wrapped up warm in big coats and thick jumpers. These thick snow flakes fell for the entire day.

I gradually rolled out of bed and woke up the following day and to my surprise the sun was shining. The sky was a crisp blue with a few clouds scattered in the sky. A light wind brushed past the shrubbery and the sun rays flowed into my living room, lifting my spirits for the day. It's insane to see the weather change from one extreme to the other.

Our planet is obviously in some serious shit!

Wierd situations

Have you ever come across a situation where things are just weird, and a part of you starts to wonder 'Am I dreaming?' 'Am I in a parallel universe?' 'Is this really happen?' 'What if...blah blah blah' I do! 

I get it a lot. But I think that comes down to my insane imagination. If someone is late or hasn't emailed or rang me back which is out of the ordinary. I begin to think of insane reasons like: they have died, am I dreaming, have they been kidnapped, what if they did arrive but I'm stuck in a different dimension or even as far as 'Am I on the Truman show?'  (I have strong views on this subject and will dive into it more another time) but, I know right, call the paramedics, lock this mad women up and throw away the key...

I know, I know...weird right! But isn't that normal (when you have an extreme imagination). That you think differently and out of the box type of thing! Hope so. 

What made me think of this was, I am waiting for an answer to whether I have got a job and I haven't heard anything in over a week now. I mean this is probably bad news for my career but still it's polite to let someone know either way. I don't think it's them being rude. I think it's something mad like they died. Or the building caught on fire and everyone was burnt hahah I don't know if that's my way of saying that I believe in humanity and kindness for the human race or that I'm just plain mental. 

I will let you decide.

Potatoes who are jobless!

Random subject to talk about today is: POTATOES! A potato is a starchy tuberous crop. You can make a range of things like jacket potatoes, chips, wedges, mash, roasties, rosti and things with those things in like potato bake (according to Simon :S OK MATE) OK I'm bored of talking about Potatoes. I think I will talk about unemployment. Well it sucks. BIG TIME! People moan about working but when your not working it's even worse. You just waste your days applying for jobs and doing nothing. It's total balls. I hate it. I don't understand people who live off benefits and do nothing. Why would you want to waste your life away. It's so pointless. Wouldn't you rather have a job so you can buy things and make something with your life. I so desperately want a job so that I can go on holiday, go on adventures, buy things for myself and learn new things like: piano, adobe suites packages and instruments etc. I just want a bloody job!!! PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME A JOB!!!!!! Thank you and goodbye.

Say hello to Nigel Shex.

Nigel Shex is my fictional character that I am when I want to be a man. Yes I know, weird right! But when I'm thinking of comedy sketches it doesn't always consist of just women. I made up this type of person because I feel there is a lot of potential comedy about his personality & I wanted to explore that as a script writer. Me and my friend did a funny sketch (check out bashyourfacein - A&B Show) that has this character. The story is about a women who is in an un-loving & mean relationship with her husband who constantly insults her & when he goes too far she goes off into her own little world and starts fascinating about this character, Nigel Shex. He shows her a good time and appeals to her in a sexual way, & of course I am the man! hahaha! anyway! moving on. 

Nigel Shex is a black man with an afro. He has sunglasses and bling on and dresses in red and orange. He has a goaty beard and loves women. Think along the lines of James Brown and Will Smith joined together. I found a toy that looked exactly like him, which was really weird after I had indeed created this fictional character and the stuffed toy is now my little mascot of comedy! 
The name came from Nigel being a cartoon I drew when I was younger and I wanted his surname to be something really obvious about what he was like as a person. It was originally Nigel Sex but I liked the silent H in there. Makes him sound a little foreign. I am currently writing a few scripts and music video ideas for Nigel so that I can really develop a story behind the man and I like being out of my comfort zone when I play him. It takes some real balls to dress up as a man, draw a beard on your face with liquid eyeliner and chest hair and parade around in front of your friends and indeed your parents. Hoping that they don't think your completely mad for dressing up like a man! I just find it absolutely hilarious, so i don't care what you think. It's cool in my eyes!....

Would you loose weight to fly?

    Something just occurred to me. When I was younger, along with many other people I wished I could fly. If I were to reincarnate as any animal, I'm torn between an eagle and a wolf (the wolf story and rant will be in a future blog). But for this story lets say I want to be an eagleeeee.....

    Anyway, I was thinking if breaking news occurred right this second and said if you lost 4 stone off your current weight. Obviously less for those skinny women and more for those larger women. If you lost that weight you would technically be able to fly. YES FLY! of course you would need training and be taught landing procedures. But you would be able to fly. Would you do it? Would that motivate you to loose all that weight just so that you can fly?

    Motivation is a very hard thing to come by when it comes down to loosing weight. Would this be the solution to obesity? If the flying genre was real of course. 

    What? wait..err...IT IS??? OMG people I announce this news right here, right now. FLYING HUMANS ARE REAL!! So get out there you fatties and loose that weight. You could be flying over to Australia in no time! GO GO GO!....no seriously!

You're really growing on me!!

It has got to the point in my blog telling that I am confident enough to let you in on a little secret of mine. I am 100 percent, positively in love with the best rock band in the world....THE DARKNESS! yes you heard it here first. They are indeed cool! They are the first rock band in a very long time that just do good old fashioned rock and roll like all the classics back in the 70s/80s/90s. Y'know with instruments and play live and are pure rock and roll with their attitude, lyrics and appearance. I have always liked the Darkness when they came into light when I was younger. But when I was at download in 2011 they were performing and OH MY I fell in love with them. Like head over heels, listen to them always, buy every album...love.
        They make me feel happy and ready to stand up and rock out when ever I see fit. I've seen them live at Nottingham Rock City and I am most definitely seeing them live again soon. Their music is very epic! Every single song on their 3 magnificent albums I absolutely love and know all the words too! I JUST LOVE THEM!
        I want to produce and direct more music videos to their songs and post them on YouTube. I already have done "Growing on me!" and it is one of my favourite videos I have ever done. When I am sad about being away from home and all my friends, I watch that video and, without a doubt, puts a smile on my face! I just absolutely incredibly love and adore the fabulous amazing Darkness! ROCK ON JUSTIN (lead singers name in case you are a loser who doesn't know that)
*insert high pitched "YEAH!"
and end.

Look out at the world and smile.

   It's coming up to one of my favourite times of the year. Spring time. It's the first stage of getting out of the winter slog, and it really does make me feel happy. The trees are starting to bud and become a flush of greens and light pastels. The small animals are being born and there is a certain mood in the air that makes me want to look out at the world and smile. The days are getting longer and more warmer. And more and more sun and warmth will follow in the up coming months.
I love summer, so for me this is the moment when I can start to look forward to it. Also it makes having a healthy lifestyle just a little bit easier. You don't crave thick stodgy foods full of carbs, you fancy fresh things like salad and fruit. You want to go out more into the spring air and get more exercise. It's a very positive time of year. I think more people would stick to their New Years Resolutions if it was in the spring/summer. 
   People are more optimistic and it's around the time when you are thinking of going on Holiday and getting into that dreaded bikini. So you are more motivated to do well. You do want to go out and do more with your friend and have more adventures. The spring time encourages all of that. These are just a few of the things people try to do for their New Years Resolutions: loose weight, eat healthier, do more...stuff!! So I hear by declare that New Years Resolutions should commence not on the 1st of Jan but the 1st of April. Easter Resolutions! 
   I bet a lot more people would indeed succeed in their mini quests if it was changed to this time. What's your Easter Resolutions and will spring make you triumph in all your glory? I indeedly (my made up word of today) hope so.

Banana Skin

This has been an idea of mine for a long long time. The name I admit was a joint calibration with my good old friends but I'm sure they won't mind a bit of copy writing fraud lol. I sit on my sofa at home and some adverts I watch, I am like WTF? or I think of funny ways to take the piss out of them. Or improve them in a much funnier way. 
So when I have my big fancy camera with sexy HD video recording facilities I will begin to produce and direct my own comedy series called "Banana Skin". This name is perfect, it's a clique old fashioned thing that was considered to be humorous back in the Laurel and Hardy days. 
I am going to do with this with as many people as will join me. But first I will just use me and Simon. I will spend my spare, spare time writing some funny scripts that take the mic out of certain adverts or re visit my old notebooks and re create some sketches I thought of throughout my creative uni life. I am going to think of a cool jingle (Although I think I already have in past talks about this project) then I am going to record it and get it up and running as a fun project to do now and again. No weekly releases just if and when I get round to it. 
I don't care if it isn't a hit, I just want to do it for fun! It's something for me to practise my copy writing on, my creative script writing, my producing techniques and of course my acting and directing skills. 
I can not wait! So keep an eye out for the premiere of BANANA SKIN!!! on www.youtube.com/bashyourfacein << which is my account. 

Keep keeping up with the latest buzzness!!

Waiting.

Isn't waiting an extremely boring thing. Usually it's never for anything good or if it is it sucks the life out of it by waiting which is boring, or makes you nervous or feel sick. So all in all, waiting is not a nice thing. I am waiting for news of something that I hope I have a break in and get the thing I am waiting to hear about. Well done if you understood that sentence. 

It drives me insane, waiting. Don't get me wrong I am very patient person but right now I want to moan about it. When you are waiting for something you can't relax or focus on anything, your brain is totally unoccupied and you can not get on with your day which sucks!! It's got to a time in my life where I just want a break. I want things to go right for once. And they haven't in a very long time. But ever the optimise I will persist and make sure I get on and get over it very very vsoon. I believe that what goes around comes around so hopefully my persistence and optimism will pay off and reward me with a nice fat juicy prize!!

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. What to do while I am waiting?? write a song? No, brain is mush. Do some work? No, brain is much. << see can't even spell mush! Watch TV...umm might be distracting enough not to think about what I am waiting for but is hardly a productive thing to be doing with my time. Eat...umm no then it'll make my body go to mush and plus I have no water, so no TEA, so therefore sad me, so therefore not happy because there is no tea in my belly. 

OK I have to end this blog because my brain is mush and I can't think straight therefore using therefore a hell of a lot and therefore writing shit loads of shit that no one will ever read so bye.